


Just Like California...

by hatchetfield_bee



Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Ghosts, Im not sure how to do tags please help !, John McNamara being a king, Kinda, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:01:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24686551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatchetfield_bee/pseuds/hatchetfield_bee
Summary: Lex is heartbroken over Ethan’s “death”.Ethan’s even more heartbroken that she thinks he’s dead.
Relationships: Becky Barnes/Tom Houston, Hannah Foster & Lex Foster, John McNamara & Ethan Green, Lex Foster & Tom Houston, Lex Foster/Ethan Green, Xander Lee/John McNamara
Comments: 15
Kudos: 33





	1. The Black and Green...?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I’ve had this in my docs for a while so I’m trying to finish it up. I’m still working on my other fic, but I’m trying to clear some stuff out.  
> I hope you like it!  
> Teen rating is for swearing and drug use. This chapter only has swearing, but I will leave trigger warnings on every chapter just in case.

After she found out Ethan didn’t make it Lex shut everyone but Hannah out. Tom let her stay in the basement and she rarely got out of the inflatable mattress unless Hannah needed her.  
She usually didn’t cry, she just laid there, emotionless. She wasn’t usually this attached to people she was with for just a few months but he was different. They trusted each other. He was the only thing that could ground her when she was spiraling and that was happening much too often recently.  
When she finally broke down usually he’d let her cry into his shoulder and he’d rub small circles into her palm. He’d tell stupid jokes to get her to cheer up and poke at her sides as she laughed. She didn’t realize how much she relied on that until it was gone.  
She didn’t want to be alone again. Sure, she was without him for 15 years but he made things better. She could finally get a good job with someone she trusted to watch Hannah at home with her. He also made both of them happy. Anything that he could do to make them smile he’d do it. From tickling Hannah’s side until she cracked to stealing them popcorn at a movie Lex snuck them into.  
Ethan loved her, he told her that the week before Black Friday and she didn’t say anything. She just stared blankly at the TV and he didn’t mention it again. They went on as normal and he probably hoped she forgot, but it was always in the back of her mind. Lex loved him too. Something she found out a little too late.  
The thing she missed most was how warm he was, and it wasn’t just the cheap leather jacket. His personality wasn’t exactly cheery and it wasn’t rugged, she described it as warm. It was sweet but could burn sometimes. It was rather rare that she got to see him angry, usually not directed at her. There was a separation between the way he acted at school and the way he acted with Lex. At school when he was pissed he’d probably threaten someone or throw a quick punch, but with her, he’d always try to fix it as soon as it got out of hand. For example, once she got mad at him because he made up some shitty excuse so he didn’t have to watch Hannah that day. Which meant that she had to leave work early on a Friday night to go pick her up. She was pissed, but then he told her what happened. His mom kicked him out and took the keys to his car, so he couldn’t drive her home and he was also trying to figure out how long he could live on a street bench until people started noticing. They both apologized but the tension was there until he texted her a picture of a baby goat and she immediately forgot about it.  
She missed him. The way her hair would get caught in his dumb earring when they kissed and he’d just smile as she tried to get it out. The way he’d hold her face in his hands and just look at her with the softest eyes she’d ever seen. She missed every little thing about him, from his dumb toothy grin to the way his calloused fingers grazed across her cheek. But, he was dead and she had nothing left of him because she burned the fucking mall down.  
They weren’t even dating and she knew she got too attached. Every time she turned around to find Hannah on his shoulders, hands knit securely in his unmanageable curls, her heart would jump. And- Her thoughts were interrupted by a clash in the basement. Lex shot up from the pile of blankets the Houston’s gave her. She called out Tom's name but there was no answer.  
~

“Why the fuck can’t she hear me?” Ethan groaned as he returned to the seemingly endless black. He’d forgotten how many days he’d been there.  
John sighed, “I told you already son, she can’t see or hear you because you’re not physically there. When you were ‘sacrificed to Wiggly’, your physical being was brought here.”  
“But you and Xander talk all the time here. He’s not like actually here either,”  
“He has the freedom to exist in either world because he was originally here before we brought him to PEIP. Which stands for Paranormal, Extraterrestrial, Inter-“  
“-Dimensional Progomenon,” He interrupted while rolling his eyes, “You've said it like 20 fuckin’ times. Didn’t you say that Lex could see it too through? So why can’t she see me now?”  
“If I’ve said it so often, you should be able to pronounce it accurately. She can only see it either by her own volition or under extreme pressure. No one is able to immerse themselves in all of the Black and White’s features unless they're stuck in it. Only a few can get one of the senses from here.” John moves to stand in front of him, gesturing with his knife as he explained.  
“Dude, you’re gonna stab me or something. Okay, then why don’t we make her do her violin or whatever.”  
“Volition, Ethan. Also, address me as General, not ‘dude’. Thank you,” He shoved the knife back in its holder. “Doing something by one's own volition means to do it at their own will. Like if I were to stab you right now, it would be at my own volition because nothing is forcing me to stab you.”  
Ethan nodded as he listened, “So I can't make her see me?” The General shook his head. “Well, that fucking sucks. Can I ask you something? It’s kinda personal but it’s not like anyone else gonna hear it anyway.” He gestured for Ethan to continue, “I told Lex like a week before I, you know, that I love...d her and she just ignored it. What does that mean?”  
He eyes him carefully, “You realize that we’re between dimensions right now and you’re worried about a girl not loving you back. Do you realize how dense that sounds?”  
“I’d rather not talk out the fact that we’re stuck here, plus I’m totally getting out of here. You’re old and wise, I think, so give me advice. Also, it’s your job to work on complicated things so love should fit into that category”  
“It’s my job to work on complicated things in the paranormal sense- did you already forget the acronym? It wasn’t a part of the description to handle teenage lovers quarrels,” John finally sat down, posture still straight.  
Ethan snapped his fingers, “That’s the problem, it isn’t a lover’s quarrel. It’s kind of the opposite, but not really.” There was silence, which was something that they found themselves in often.  
After a few minutes, Ethan asked, “So, you like that Xander guy right?”  
General McNamara looked at him, “Yes. Well, we’re married.”  
Even in the grey haze, he could tell how tightly Ethan’s eyebrows were knit together, “Really? And you never thought to mention that? You guys like never even hug. The most contact I've seen is a handshake. You aren’t even wearing a ring!”  
“They were too reflective, we decided against them. We don’t need to be affectionate to prove ourselves, additionally, we travel a lot and not all cities are as inclusive as D.C. For example; Hatchetfield.” He usually wouldn't talk so much about his relationship, but they were going to be here until the Black & White shut down, which was a very unpredictable occurrence. Additionally, it felt nice to relax and talk casually for a moment, but only a moment.


	2. Knock off Man in Black

The next week Xander came to visit Macnamara, Ethan was away to give them privacy. “Lee, I have a proposition. I’m not sure if it’ll work but I think Foster might be able to get us out of this.” The addressed nodded for him to continue, “She’s currently at Tom Houston, with her sister. The little girl who can speak to Webby. She hasn’t gotten up in days or weeks, I’ve lost track of time because she thinks Green’s dead.”  
“So the Fosters are with Tom Houston. That’s the guy who resisted right? He’s dating the warrior?” He confirmed, “How am I supposed to tell her that her boyfriend isn’t entirely dead and she has an interdimensional superpower that can bring him back to Hatchetfield.”  
John paced back and forth, “She already knows that she can reach into the Black and White, so all you have to tell her is that he’s here. You’ve always been better with words, so I feel like you can handle that part. Stay safe, alright?”  
Xander has to suppress a smile as he gave a two-finger salute, “I always have been. Try not to go insane while I’m gone,” He patted his husband’s shoulder and he left.  
He wouldn’t show it, but John missed working on the front line, also his husband.  
With them, work always came first. Their wedding was private, just them and a witness and immediately after they ran back to the precinct. They never really went out on dates, just dinners when they went to a foreign location for work. It was perfect. John had never been in a real relationship, where he actually liked the other person.  
~

Lex was sitting on the bed, just staring at the wall lost in her thoughts when boots noisily stomping down the stairs distracted her. “Hey kid,” Said Tom with an overly cheery smile. She gave him a half-hearted wave, it was sweet that he was trying. “What if we all went for a walk or something? Just to get out, Beck said it might be good to get some fresh air,”  
She gave him a small smile, “I’m not feeling well, but you guys can go-ahead,”  
He sighed and sat down on the bed next to her, ”You know I can't make you go but I think it’d be good for you.”  
”Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Have fun on the walk for me,”  
“Lex, I haven’t seen you eat since we got back. You've been upstairs twice.”  
”Mr. Houston, with all due respect; I don't need a fucking lecture, especially right now.”  
He looked at her worriedly and put his hand on her shoulder, ”Call me Tom. We have to talk when you're ready, alright? Also, Hannah wanted to ask if she could come down here after the walk.”  
Lex genuinely smiled for a second, which she hadn’t done very often, “Of course she can. Is Tim going with you guys?” She knew Hannah wasn’t too comfortable with only the adults and she liked Tim. He let Hannah play with him on his Wii.  
“Yeah, I’m trying to get him out of his room too.” After a moment of silence he stood up, “Try and eat something while we’re out, please,” She nodded and a few minutes later she heard the front door shut and she made her way upstairs.  
The air felt fresh, new, but that might've just because it was freezing. It felt weird being in her old shop teacher’s house alone, but she felt like someone was watching her. She wasn't scared, it felt like a weirdly comforting watch.  
Lex slapped peanut butter on a slice of wheat bread and folded it in half. It was something Ethan made her eat when she hadn't eaten for what he declared too long. She smiled in remembrance as she slowly ate it. She thought about all those dumb nights where they'd both go to his house after a shitty day. Even though her mom would yell at her the next day, spending time on the roof of Ethan's house was worth it. They'd always try and see who could throw the rocks further into the road from the roof (Lex always won).  
She didn't realize she was crying until she felt a tear fall onto the napkin she was using. She set it down on the wooden coffee when she heard tapping at the door. Lex quickly wiped her eyes with her shirt as she opened it.  
It was a guy straight out of Men In Black, down to the sunglasses, but without the suit. Instead, he was in a sort of armor, but it was entirely black. “Is this the Houston residence?”  
“Uh, yeah, but I'm not a Houston. I’m-“  
“Alexandra Elizabeth Foster.” she blinked when they said her entire name, “I need to discuss a very pressing matter involving Black Friday.” She jumped back and shut the door. Running downstairs before she could hear anything else they said. She could hear the knocking but she didn’t answer, her half-eaten peanut butter sandwich still left on the table.  
Her first thought was Hannah. If this guy knew her full name, something she doesn’t even use, what the fuck did they know about her family? Maybe he was just some government freak, trying to scam her out of her taxes or some shit. She admittedly had no idea how taxes worked, she wasn’t sure if her mom had ever even done taxes. Shit, her mom.  
Was she still alive? Lex didn’t care, but the note never got delivered, because she never went back to grab her clothes. Had she called someone? Probably not. Unless she could get money out of it. Would people pity-pay her? Was that a thing?  
Ethan would’ve been able to figure this out. Not well, but he would’ve handled it. At least better than she was, he was always good at thinking under pressure. Why would someone want to stalk her out of all people? She didn’t have any money or any real talent that could be useful.  
The top question on her mind was ‘Why would a guy, wearing all black and sunglasses in winter, wanna talk to me about something that happened all across the country?’ She didn't think she was special. She tried to block most of the holiday out of her mind, though there were some parts she couldn't forget. Like killing Sherman, and all those other people. Lex felt guilty, sure she knew that she had to do it, but she killed people. Every time she used a lighter for her cigarette she could hear them screaming. If the lights went out as the result of a snowstorm, she’d just sit in silence. She couldn't handle using the candles to light up the otherwise pitch-black basement.  
Lex wasn't the only one, and she knew that. Hannah would wince anytime someone mentioned Wiggly or mentioned California (Lex had no idea why). Becky's eyes would widen at the mention of the entity as well, but more so at the mention of Linda. Tom seemed to just ignore the entire situation, while Tim was oblivious to it all. They all seemed to gloss over the situation and leave their grief to themselves.  
Speaking of the group, they had all finally gotten back from the walk, while Lex was sitting in an old wooden chair picking at her nails anxiously. After about 10 minutes she heard Tom call her name so she ran up the stairs. ”You've got a visitor.”  
She opened the door to the same guy as before, she only stared at him for a moment, not saying anything before she stepped outside with him. ”Listen, dude. I don't know who the fuck you are or what you want, but I'm kind of busy. So please just leave me the fuck alone.”  
They seemed to consider it before they spoke again, ”Alexandra Foster, my name is Xander Lee. I work for P.E.I.P. under General John McNamara,” God, why did that sound so familiar? ”You have a special ability that can pull people from the alternate dimension known as the Black and White. We need you to use that ability.”  
Her eyebrows were tightly knit together as he spoke. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to find the words to say, ”I don't think you've got the right guy. I have no idea what you're talking about. So I'm gonna leave, but I hope you find what you need, alright?”  
Xander rubbed his temple and sighed, scribbling something down on a piece of paper, ”Call me when you find out.” He handed her the slip before he walked away.  
Lex stared at it for a minute before she went inside where she was greeted by Mr. Houston at the door, ”Who was that guy?”  
She contemplated telling him, but she knew he'd just be worried, ”Just a salesman. Trying to sell me a fridge,” He nodded in understanding so she went back downstairs.  
She continued to look at the slip. What did she need to find out? Also why the fuck did ”Peip” sound so familiar? She thought about that for a while but then Hannah came down crying all of that immediately went overlooked. She immediately ran into Lex’s arms, she held her tightly as Hannah sobbed into her shoulder.  
Once she calmed down she looked up at Lex, “Do you wanna talk about it, Han?”  
She nodded and wiped her tears away with her sleeve. A smile played at her lips, “Webby says… Ethan. He’s alive.”


	3. Half-Baked Sympathy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lex tries to convince Hannah of something she wished wasn’t true while John teaches Ethan something he wished he hadn’t.
> 
> trigger warnings: swearing and also it’s just kinda sad thoughts and stuff like that

The sisters just looked at each other for a moment before Lex pulled her in for a hug, ”Oh, Hannah, ” This was all her fault. She had never properly addressed death because they never had any experience with it. She never explained how people couldn’t come back, as much as she wished they could.

”He’s gone. Webby is wrong this time,” Hannah just shook her head with a smile as she let go of the hug. “I thought like that too, but he’s gone, Han.”

“Black and White, Lexie. He’s there. With eagle.” She pulled on Lex’s sleeve and gave her a teary-eyed smile. 

Webby has been right before, but she was definitely wrong this time. Becky felt his pulse and Mr. Houston said he was gone. His name was on the victims’ list, Lex kept it in her jacket pocket. “I think you’re a little tired, why don’t you go eat dinner and then we can have a little sleepover? Just like we used to. How does that sound?”

Hannah seemed to mull it over for a moment before she reluctantly nodded and climbed up the wooden stairs.

One part of Lex wanted to believe her. Give in and pretend Mr. Houston never told her anything at all. That she hadn’t spent the last 2 weeks crying over stupid things that she missed, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t just throw away all the shit she had done in a (useless) effort to get over him, because she didn’t have any physical thing to throw away. It might’ve been faster if she had one thing to remember him by. Just one. But of course, someone had to take that stupid fucking hat from Hannah. As she recounted the events of Black Friday as she paced around the basement. She wasn’t sure why, she only did that when she was nervous, but this time she was pissed. She was pissed that her not-boyfriend was dead. She was pissed that she was still in Hatchetfield and that she was still just as broke as when Hannah’s Thanksgiving break started. She was pissed that she was in her fucking old shop teacher's basement instead of California. She was pissed at that dumbass soldier or whatever, who claimed she knew something. She didn’t know shit. She was just some high school dropout that killed a shit ton of people. Her hands shook at her sides. She needed to do something. Her pent up frustration was making her burst at seams. As a result, she probably made the stupidest choice of her life. 

~

“Wait- so Webby’s actually real? She isn’t just some imaginary thing Hannah made up?” Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to fathom what the fuck John was saying.

He chuckled, which made Ethan rethink asking him, “Oh, she’s real alright.” 

Ethan had no idea what that was supposed to mean and he really didn’t want to find out, “Okay. Shit. Alright. Hannah told me that she lived in the Black and White, though. We’re in the Black in White, so where’s Webby?”

“Son,” John calling him ‘son’ was something Ethan had to get used to. It was sort of weird at first, because not even his own dad had ever addressed him like that. But he got used to it, “The Black and White is larger than you could possibly imagine. There are different dimensions within this dimension, there is truly no way to know where anything is.”

“I’m not sure if that’s cool or terrifying.” God, Ethan wanted a cigarette so bad. He knew that it had no real benefits, but if he focused hard enough on the way the smoke felt, he’d forget about his problems with a blink.

“I’d say the latter, just from personal experience.” 

“Personal experience?” Ethan knew he sounded eager, but he was bored and whatever John said was always super cool. God being stuck in an endless tunnel of darkness really messes with a guy.

John began explaining how the different entities lived in different nooks of that dimension. Webby opposite Wiggly and their disciples with them. Their colors correspond with their power. Green being Wiggly’s color as it represents greed whereas Webby’s color, purple, represents wisdom and nobility. Two qualities that Ethan knew Hannah shared as well. 

“So, it’s kinda just endlessness of this and then a few gods rented a space for like, forever?”

John rested his head in his hands, “In the simplest possible terms, yes.” He had just spent 5 minutes explaining the entire concept of the Black and White and the kid summarized it in 18 words.

Ethan nodded in understanding, “‘Hippo-thorically’, we could go and find Webby, then?”

“Hypothetically, yes. But we won’t.” John looked at him pointedly. He was not about to risk his life so this kid could see and most likely anger the only thing that could get them out of there.

He smiled and John didn’t like it one bit. The smile was knowing as if Ethan knew that he was going to do something that the one thing John didn’t want.

~

“What the fuck do I know, dude?” Lex basically yelled into the phone, cutting off Xander’s introduction.

“Ah, Miss Foster, I presume?” She confirmed and repeated her question, though quieter this time. “Can you recount the events of Black Friday?”

“Some, but not all, why?” She assumed he was a cop, so she tried not to get too specific. If she let it slip that she tried to steal a doll she might end up in jail again.

She heard him scribble something down on a piece of paper, which meant that she had to be  _ extra _ careful of her words. “What do you remember?”

Her leg bounced against the bed as she contemplated what to tell him. This guy knew her full name and where she was staying, which wasn’t even her permanent address. Something was weird. “Is this call being recorded or something? Who even are you? Why should I tell you shit?” She was more scared than she played off, in fact, she was terrified.

“Again, I’m Xander Lee. A theoretical scientist for P.E.I.P. We call it ‘peep’. It’s a branch of the government that focuses on paranormal, extraterrestrial, and interdimensional phenomenons.”

Why the fuck did that name sound so familiar to Lex and why did her brain seem to focus on it so much, “Paranormal, so you’re like a ghostbuster? Tell me, why the fuck I should buy this?” But she was buying it. She hated the fact that a big part of her believed him because she was never one to go against her gut. 

Xander sighed through the line and for a moment she felt bad before remembering that this guy just showed up at her teacher's doorstep. “Would you rather meet in public? Then, would you consider talking?”

That was a difficult question to answer; on one hand, being in public would give him less of a chance to kidnap her, if that was his game. On the other hand, Lex hadn’t gone outside for longer than 3 minutes in almost a month. Could she handle that? She hoped she could as she answered. “Fine. But at a park or some shit with other people around.”

“Agreed. I’ll meet you in Edison Park at 10, tomorrow. Is that alright?”

“Yeah, fine.” She still wasn’t sure if she was gonna show, but she wasn’t too torn up about standing up this guy.

“Alright. See you then, soldier.” And with that, he hung up. 

_ Soldier. P.E.I.P _ Fuck, they really sounded familiar. Why did he address her as a soldier? There must’ve been some mistake. Hopefully, there wasn’t some actual Lex Foster in the army whose job she was stealing.

After about 15 minutes of just silent reflection on whatever the fuck just happened, she once again heard the clanking boots that belonged to her beloved teacher, stomping down the stairs. She tried to collect herself. She hadn’t been crying but she still knew she looked like shit.

“Hey, kiddo. How’re you feelin’?” He sat down on the bed, opposite where Lex was standing. He had that classic teacher smile, which showed that he was tired but he tried not to let it show.

She shrugged, “Fine.” He looked at her as if it was obvious she was lying, “Mr. Houston, really. I’m fine.”

“Tom,” He said and she rolled her eyes. Sure, she was sleeping in the guy's basement, but they hadn’t reached that level. She didn’t even call Ethan by his first name until junior year, “But, alright. Were you talking to somebody down here or something?” It was pretty obvious that he was implying she was talking to herself. Which was fair, she hadn’t taken a phone call in a decently long time.

“Actually, yes.” She showed him her phone in her hand as if that proved anything.

He scratched at his beard. He believed her, but he also didn’t trust that she was as unbothered as she played off, “Who was it? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Lex’s thumbs tapped together. If he already thought she was lying telling him it was a theoretical physicist from a branch of the government that focused on paranormal shit wouldn’t help. “It’s just a guy I’ve been talking to.”

Mr. Houston obviously looked uncomfortable, “Oh. Like a  _ guy _ ?” 

She visibly winced. Again, faced with another choice. If she said yes it would be an easy way out of the conversation, but also she felt bad even pretending that she was seeing someone else, “Yup. I’m going out tomorrow too. Isn’t that what you wanted me to do?” Even though he was for sure dead, she mentally apologized to Ethan.

“As long as you think you’re ready, I have no say in the matter.” With that, the subject was dropped which she was thankful for. “I saved you a plate, in case you wanted to eat. Which personally I think is a good idea.”

She shook her head, “I’m fine, I had a sandwich earlier. Thanks anyway though.” Lex figured after that he’d leave but Mr. Houston was still sitting there, looking as awkward as ever. There was a moment of pi fully uncomfortable silence where she wished he’d just leave. Leave her alone to figure out how to explain to Hannah that Ethan was gone forever and that nothing could bring him back. 

“Can we talk? Maybe have a little heart-to-heart real

quick.” She just stared at him for a moment. She still hadn’t gotten used to the whole being friends with her ex-shop teacher thing. Yet, she nodded and sat down next to where he patted on the bed. “When I lost Jane-“

“Mr. Houston, as much as I want to help you, if you’re going to tie this into Ethan I’d rather not hear it.” She interrupted him even though it was more than uncalled for in the situation.

He looked at her for a moment, “Listen. I don’t wanna do this as much as you don’t, but we’ve gotta y’all about him sometimes, Lex. I get that you two were very close, but we’re worried about you. You barely come out. Hannah’s the only one who really sees you anymore. Obviously, you’re welcome to grieve as you need to, but maybe just try and interact with others once in a while. It might be good for you.”

Lex stared right back at him. She really tried not to get pissed. She tried her best but there were only two things her brain would let her do at that moment; get mad, or cry. She chose the former, “I’m grieved! I’m fine! I’m super grateful for you guys letting me crash here, but Hannah’s my only  _ real _ family. 

I don’t owe you guys shit unless you want money or something. If you wanted me to come upstairs and be fucking pitied for an hour, you could’ve asked straight up instead of trying to guilt me into it. But, fuck me, right? The only thing I can think about is my fucking dead friend, right? Fuck this.” She huffed and stood up, walking towards the stairs before Tom could catch up.

“Lex, where are you going? It’s December. You’re gonna freeze.” 

She ran up the stairs, but when Hannah walked up to her, her expression immediately softened. “Where?” Hannah asked with those little doe eyes that could probably stop a war.

Lex held her cheeks in her hands and pressed a kiss to her forehead, “I’m just going for a walk, alright? If you need anything call me on the landline.”

Hannah nodded and that was all Lex needed before walking out, slamming the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter literally took a month and i am so sorry for that!!  
> i was kinda torn up about how to write this and where it should go but i figured it out (also your sweet comments encouraged me to keep writing so i love you all). also i just realized that in both of my current fics i had lex run away from her problems which might be projecting,,, who knows?  
> anyway, talk to me! as always i’m lonely and want YOU to be my friend, please!  
> and again, thank you for reading!!! i appreciate you very much even if you hate everything i write ahjsjsk


	4. Step Into the Black and White

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lex is choked... again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what? I finally got back into this account so I can update!! I'll probably start posting more on my other account just bc it's already logged in so watch out for that! Thanks for reading!!

She walked for a while and Mr. Houston was right. It was cold as balls. She had been walking for about 15 minutes in nothing but her thin-ass jacket, leggings, and her striped t-shirt. She was sure if it was humanly possible, she’d be frozen at that point. It was snowing, and if Lex wasn’t so drained she might’ve thought it looked nice. She wanted to talk. She really did. About sports, or even politics, which she knew nothing about. She wanted to talk about anything other than the one thing she hadn’t stopped thinking about for weeks. 

Lex went into a gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes. Becky had encouraged her to quit because of the health factors or something like that. She must’ve figured it worked because she stopped bothering the teen, but she just hadn’t taken a break because her pack was empty, Lex could care less about her wellbeing.

She pulled out her ID and slipped the attendant a 10 to pay for the pack. Suddenly she found herself back where she always ended up. On a cold park bench with a smoke in her hand. It was her safe space. No one ever bothered a kid who looked like she had nothing to live for.

When she smoked, the constant headache of everything in her life calmed. It was still there just quieter. Drinking helped too but Tom had the cabinets locked and she didn’t keep her fake ID on her. She contemplated walking back to the trailer just to get it, but she knew the headache would come right back up at the sight of her mom. She kept the ID in the little crevice between her mattress and the shitty drawers she built. She kept a lot of shit there, a portion of the California fund, Hannah’s report cards, and anything else she felt the need to hide. Her mom wasn’t smart enough to look there for the past 18 years and Lex doubted she had now.

She closed her eyes for just a moment but when she opened them, the only person who would bother a teen who looked like she had nothing to live for: an alcoholic looking for something to put his dick in.

He said something about going back to his place, but Lex just ignored him, moving closer to the edge of the bench. Even though every word he spoke was slurred she really hoped he could take a hint. Of course, he didn’t. He moved closer and then he touched her thigh, that was when she snapped.

She tried to slap him but he grabbed her arm. He was fucking strong to be that drunk. He twisted it in a way that it definitely shouldn’t have gone, but it didn’t pop so she thought it was fine. Before she could fully process what was happening an arm was held tightly against her neck. She wouldn’t let herself die to some perv in a public park. She shouldn’t have left. It was dumb to get angry, Tom was only trying to help. Plus, if she hadn’t gotten angry she wouldn’t have been struggling to breathe, again, in a fucking public park. She strained her neck to try and struggle out of it and she could’ve sworn his eyes were glowing, but maybe that was because she was losing consciousness. They were bright green. A familiar color.

_ Fuck. Sherman.  _ The entirety of Black Friday flashed through Lex’s eyes. Everything from Linda ruling over her cult to Frank dying. 

But when she opened her eyes she saw nothing. It was black. Was that death? Was it that short? If she was in a coma that would really suck, but at least Hannah was with people who seemed to care about her almost as much as she did. 

Suddenly something she remembered came into frame. The army guy who gave her the gun. He looked tired, more worn out than when she last saw him. “Alexandra Foster, we meet once again,” She laughed as much as she could through a chokehold. “In case you don’t remember, I’m general John Macmamera of P.E.I.P, we call it ‘peep’.” Oh, so that’s what she was supposed to find out. That made sense. It only took some freak choking her out, Xander really could’ve just told her instead.

She reached out as she had before. Last time he gave her a gun so maybe he had something for her this time. 

“Give her the knife!” A voice she could recognize even with the low ringing in her ears. Was she really dying? Because there was no plausible reason for Ethan’s voice to be there. 

The general sighed, glaring towards a space that she couldn’t see. He pulled out a knife, Lex found it funny that even in her final moments her brain was committed to this scene. If she hadn’t died so young she would’ve made a great actress. Somehow, she still found herself trapped in the drunk's arms, though she couldn’t see him. She strained to get the knife and soon enough the weird snake-like grip was in her hand. The metal was cool against her fingers, which was weird considering this was all a dream. If she was dying how could she still feel. “You’re not dead, soldier. Keep fighting. They’re still out there. Don’t fall victim to their traps, understand?”  _ Soldier _ . What did that mean? Did something deep down really wish that she was whoever Xander meant to call. She nodded. If it was really her deepest desire she might as well let it play out before she found out what death felt like. 

“Stay safe, Lex.”

And with that, she was back in the park. With the knife.  _ With the knife.  _ She was losing wind quickly so she did the only logical thing left to do, she stabbed him in the calf, shoving him on the ground with her elbow. As weird as it seemed, it worked. Lex was free and the guy’s eyes flickered between the glowing green and their original color. She looked around and everything was the same. The badly carved hearts were still in the trees, the snow was still falling, she was still fucking freezing, but she was free. The knife was in her hand. It was a really fucking cool knife. She was just curious as to how it came into real life. Unless… no. It couldn’t have been. She heard Ethan’s voice and Ethan was dead. It was just her mind playing tricks on her. Then, how’d she got the knife? No one would’ve just handed it to her. 

She heard a grunt as the guy slowly got up and she ran. It hadn’t been too far, she had just walked slow on the way up. It was a straight shot back to Mr. Houston’s. 

~

General Macnamara was pacing, once again, but this time Ethan was on his feet as well. 

“I don’t get why I couldn’t help. I know her better than either of you do!” He trailed behind the General, keeping up with his steady pace. 

He huffed, which frightened Ethan for a moment, but he wouldn’t let that show. “Because, to her, you’re still deceased. Dead. Six-feet-under. She can’t know you’re alive. If she knows then she gets conflicted. Conflicted on whether she’s seeing me as an homage, or whether she’s just as much a goner as you should’ve been.” 

They were just staring at each other for a moment. Ethan was lucky, he knew that. He was lucky in the way that Wiggly hadn’t completely taken over like some of the others. John had explained that it was because Ethan was dead, while the others were still alive. Their emotions could be manipulated, while he was just lifeless. A sort of marionette, though John said that if they got out, he wasn’t sure how he’d react. That was because, in physical form, Ethan was still Wiggly’s doll. He was used to serving Wiggly and then forgotten about. Which sucked, but was preferred to becoming one of his sniggles or whatever. “Alright. Fine, just promise me that I get to see her at some point. Or at least be some sort of mystic guider.”

“Maybe.”

“That’s not a promise.” Ethan knew he was being immature, but he also knew he wanted to see Lex one last time before whatever the fuck Wiggly did to him finally killed him. 

John ran a hair through his hair. His hair looked soft, especially for not being washed for however long they were in there. It made sense though. There wasn’t really anything that could harm his hair, they were basically in a sensory tank dimly lighted by green. “I can’t promise you that. If it’s safe for Lex, then it’s a possibility. Otherwise, there’s no way to tell.”

Although not the answer Ethan wanted, he nodded. If seeing or hearing him caused any sort of harm to her, he’d gladly tape his mouth shut. He’d be fine staying in the Black and White for eternity if that’s what it took. “I’m gonna go take a walk, I think.”

John looked at him skeptically, “Alright, don't stray.” Ethan gave him a thumbs up even though he had no clue what that meant.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated (but not required). I hope you liked it!!


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